Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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