Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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