what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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