I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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