WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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