There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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