he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
