the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
