Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
