I've blown a few things in my day
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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