Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
