you guys were way drunker than both of me
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
