Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
