the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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