is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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