dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
