My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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