so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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