New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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