Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
