you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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