Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
