i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
