I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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