My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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