No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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