"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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