I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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