i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
