I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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