Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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