I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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