Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
