I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
