Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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