Someone shit on the floor
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Never joke about your clitoris.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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