The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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