So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
