I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
