is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
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I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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