I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
