it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize