also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
