just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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