i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
