how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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