if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
