I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm bleeding and have questions
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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