I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
