You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
