You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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