I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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