it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Houston, we have a blender
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
