Do you still have your period?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
