# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
