Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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