her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
