when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
