I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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