So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
This house was built for laser tag.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
