The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
