Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize