ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I can tuck mytits in my pants
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
