I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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