is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
my poor anus
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
