ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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